Chasing Brittan Read online

  “Looking for this?” I asked producing the box she so desperately desired.

  The fear in her eyes was enough to tell me it was true, this box was truly hers. There was no more denying it to myself.

  “I’ve seen inside your box. There are no more secrets, Shelby.” Her shock would have been comical, the way her eyes widened and her lips made a perfect ‘oh’, had I not been so furious and disgusted by the reason behind her shock.

  “You looked inside my box?” She asked in utter amazement, as though I could keep myself from it.

  I couldn’t take it a moment longer. I threw the box down and grabbed her up in my arms. I refused to let her throw her life away. I knew she had a brilliant mind. I knew it before I met her. I had seen it, in black in white, the sheer genius. I was livid that she was throwing it away. Washing her future down the drain.

  I stripped her bare and started the shower. Stripping myself I climbed into the shower after her. I couldn’t trust her to bathe herself. I couldn’t trust her to do a damn thing by herself. I scrubbed her body under the hot spray.

  I washed every inch of her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. What should have been an erotic and sexually charged shower had been ruined when I found her box and further cemented into my brain when I took in the marks in the crook of her left arm. Red sores and knots had developed from the injections she had given herself. I felt the bile rise in my stomach at the sight. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to look at her the same way again.

  I turned off the water and grabbed us both a towel. I needed space away from her. I needed time to get my bearings before I blew up on her right then and there. Who was taking care of this woman? Checking up on her?

  I dug through her closet and drawers, pulling out clothing for her to wear. Thrusting them at her I instructed her to dress. I shoved her off to the bathroom to finish getting ready. I needed her out of my sight. With her tucked away in the bathroom I gave myself time to breathe. My mind had been running nonstop, my emotions high. I needed to get a grip on myself.

  Flashes of her laying on the floor wrapped around the small wooden box replayed in my mind like a broken record. At first, I had been in shock, worried that something had happened to her. Once I had seen that she was alright my heart began to swell with this unknown feeling, a mix between pride, admiration, and tenderness. When I opened that box everything seemed to wash away. It was as though I had been transported into an alternate universe. One where beautiful successful women throw their lives away while the men lusting after them have to stand by and watch idly.

  I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t just sit there and let her slowly kill herself. I couldn’t turn a blind eye and pretend I hadn’t seen what I saw. I couldn’t let her continue down that path. That’s why I had to take control. That’s why I had to take her home with me, the one place I have never taken a woman before. That’s why she would be sharing my bed. I couldn’t trust her out on her own. I couldn’t trust her to fight to live.

  I exhaled roughly and pulled myself together. I needed to get everything in order. I needed to take care of Shelby and make her see that she is ruining her life. I need her to want to live.

  I quickly dressed and grabbed the bags I had packed for her. It wasn’t much but it would be enough to get her by and make her feel comfortable while she was staying with me. I needed to think about what to do with her. I had Edgar checking into treatment programs.

  Once dressed, I lead her out of the apartment, locking the door behind me. She tried to put up a fight but I quickly shut her down. Thankfully she didn’t put up too much of a fight. I am sure she could tell by the look on my face that she would not win. I was torn between firing her right then and there, sending her to rehab, and kissing the hell out of her. How could this single woman have me so torn up and conflicted? Where the hell did the thought of kissing her come from? I didn’t want to kiss her. I was disgusted by her, absolutely repulsed.

  When we arrived at the house I wanted to take in the settings sun with her but I couldn’t find it in me. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and promise her that it would be alright but I couldn’t find it in myself to do that either. I was numb, completely cut off of feeling for her in that instant.

  I had arranged for her things to be brought into the master bedroom. After giving her a brief tour I sent her to take a nap. At the time sharing a room with her seemed like the perfect plan. It would make it easier to watch her and make sure she didn’t sneak off and do anything stupid. Though, now that the dust had settled some it was the worst plan ever. I could barely stomach the sight of her.

  The woman that I had been drooling over and head over heels in lust for had vanished, I had seen behind the façade and I didn’t like what I saw. I didn’t like it one bit. We worked in the field of saving lives, how could she so easily be willing to give hers up? How could she be so willing to just give it all up and throw everything away? There was something more to it all. A woman with as many honors as she has had and as skilled and accomplished does not become an addict overnight.

  Chapter Ten

  Shelby

  Dinner had been a quiet affair. The two of us sat at opposite ends of a long banquet table that was large enough to seat at least twenty people. The servers brought out a lovely Cesar salad to start our meal followed by a wonderful vegetable based soup. The main course was filets with new baby potatoes and fresh crisp asparagus wrapped in crispy bacon. It was a delightful flavor combination. I had not realized how hungry I had been. I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten or had anything other than my morning coffee.

  “Edgar has brought your laptop and files from the office. Once you are finished we will retire into the office so we can both make up for the missed day at work.” His eyes studied me as he spoke. I felt like a mouse under a microscope. His deep penetrating eyes made me shrink further into myself. Guilt ate at my stomach. I needed to figure a way out of this mess.

  “You didn’t have to miss work, you could have stayed there.” I challenged. “Should have stayed there,” I muttered under my breath.

  His eyes set into narrow slits. “I would have stayed in the office had the Linguist department head actually showed up to work.” He seethed from across the table.

  I inhaled sharply. “Department head?” I asked confused.

  “That’s what I said.” His jaw set in a firm line.

  “When did that happen?” I asked confounded and in surprise.

  “The day you came back from vacation.” He said waving off the matter as though it was a moot point.

  “Is-is it because…we had sex?” I asked shooting him a look of unmitigated fury. I had never nor would I ever trade sexual favors in lure of a promotion. I wanted to earn my place by merit.

  Boiling with fury, he ground his teeth and clenched his jaw so tight it looked like it hurt. “Your promotion had nothing to do with us having sex. That was the whole reason I had scheduled a meeting with you.” He fumed, his eyes shooting daggers in my direction.

  I immediately felt poorly. He had scheduled the meeting before we had even known about one another. Meg said the meeting had been scheduled for days before I had returned. “I’m sorry,” I apologized. I felt tremendous guilt for even suggesting he gave me a promotion in exchange for the sex we shared in his office. My cheeks began to flame with heat at the thought of our time in his office. Embarrassment consumed me.

  Klaus shrugged off my apology and stood from the table, signaling the end of the meal. I rose from my seat and followed him out of the room.

  This man set my emotions on a roller-coaster ride. He turned me on, made me feel beautiful and desired, made me feel like dirt on the bottom of his shoe, and made me feel guilty, like the scum of the earth. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it all.

  I wanted to hate him, hate him for making me feel so damn good and for giving me the most mind blowing orgasms I had ever had at the same time I wanted to latch on to him and beg him to make the pain
go away. Guilt ate at me for even having such thoughts. No, I was a horrible person. I deserved to be treated like shit. I deserved all of the horrible things he could do to my career. I was a murderer.

  “Are you coming?” He asked from the doorway leading out of the dining room.

  I quickly stood and followed him out. I could already tell that getting away from this man was going to be difficult. He would not let me out of his sights. The only saving grace I had was the fact that he had brought my work home with him. I could lose myself for hours pouring over codes and data. I had several new projects that I could not wait to get my hands on. I needed a distraction. I needed something to take my mind off of my crumbling life.

  “That will be your desk.” Klaus directed, pointing to a deep rich mahogany desk that sat overlooking the large bay window.

  It was a beautiful desk and I was sure that when the sun was up that it would be an even more grand view. I muttered a simple “Thanks,” and got to work.

  The Hamilton project was at the top of my pile. I flipped open the jacket to the file and began to immerse myself in the details. The project was for a design software that would allow doctors to conduct minimally invasive microscopic on people with coronary Artery Disease. Though there are many tests out there, this one would be the first that would provide the ability to get a first-hand look at what was going on through a microscopic lens that would be less invasive than the Cardia Catheterization’s performed now and would give more detailed information.

  I was immediately drawn in, my hands flying over the keyboard as I worked out the algorithms in my speech pattern recognition. My job was to create a bilingual VR program that would enable the doctors to ask questions that would be answered in the database. Though it was a luxury for most medical practices, our programs were widely known to be used in life-saving practices. The users could simply ask questions and be given precise detailed explanations and be walked through procedures. This particular program would be a training tool for the microscope that is being designed and was requested by the manufacturer.

  The coding was simple as it was one I typically used in many of our training modules. However, the speech patterns are what had always proved difficult. I had a sample program that I would insert which took away a large chunk of the work. I would then have to go in and manually code and insert the variants of dialect. Not only did our programs detect and understand different dialects and speech patterns but it also gave information the same way. It was like Seri on steroids.

  I had just put the finishing touches on the introduction when I felt a pair of hands come to rest on my shoulders. I jumped in surprise. I had gotten so engrossed in my work I had completely forgotten where I was and the fact that I was not alone.

  “Come, you need your rest,” Klaus said firmly, guiding me up from my seat.

  My fingers twitched in frustration against my thighs. I was not a child. I did not need some man coming into my life and telling me what to do and when to do it. I had a father once, I did not need another.

  I was about to give him a piece of my mind. “Klaus,”

  “Shelby,” He said my name with firmly bearing no debate. “I said it was time to get some rest. It’s 3 am. You can start again in the morning.” His lips were drawn into a firm line, his eyes narrowed into slits.

  I couldn’t believe that the time had passed so swiftly. Though I hated to admit it, he was right. If I continued on fatigue would take over and my work would be filled with errors that would take forever to find. I gave a subtle nod of my head and allowed him to drag me off to his room.

  “Strip,” He ordered once we were safely behind the closed bedroom door.

  My eyes flew open with shock and surprise. “What?” I asked unable to form a cohesive sentence.

  “I have your sleep clothes on the bed, strip and get changed.” His brow lifted in challenge.

  I huffed in response but obeyed. After leaving the office my body had begun to feel the effects of the night, my muscles ached down to the bone. My eyes had grown heavy and sleep had begun to sound better and better. With quick jerky movements I removed my clothing and threw on the white tank top and black sleep shorts Klaus had laid out for me. I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually changed into sleep clothes. It was probably around the same time I had last slept in my bed.

  From the corner of my eyes, I watched as Klaus began to remove his clothing. His hands expertly moved over the buttons of his white dress shirt, each one bearing more of his toned tan skin. I felt the saliva pool in my mouth. He moved with a fluid grace of a dancer, smooth clean lines and an air of confidence that was as erotic as it was sexy.

  I stayed frozen in place as I watched him work the clasp on his slacks. The thin black material slid down his legs revealing a pair of black silk boxers. My pussy throbbed to life. The only time I had ever seen him naked was in the shower in my apartment. The memory brought me back to reality. The way his eyes had cut through me. I knew I would never have him again. Now that he knew my secret the best I could hope for was to keep my job.

  “Bed,” His deep voice commanded.

  Unable to look at him I crawled into the large king sized bed and scurried under the covers. I turned my back toward him and covered my face with the blanket. Here I was scrambling like a mouse under the command of this man. Yeah, he was sexy as sin and could give a girl more pleasure in one night than she could imagine having in a lifetime but did he have to be such a dick?

  I felt the bed dip under his weight as he settled into bed. My heart ricocheted in my chest, torn between craving his touch and detesting it. I lay there in silence listening to his breathing grow deeper. Once I was sure he was asleep my body finally relaxed and I too drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Eleven

  Shelby

  I woke up to drowned in a cold sweat, my hair plastered to my cool damp skin. Everything in my body ached from deep in my bones to the tiny hairs on my body. I could feel the stillness of the room pressing against me. The air was stifling sending a wave of nausea to roll through my stomach. I could feel the contents of my stomach threatening to spill out at any moment.

  I struggled to move, it felt as though I had been hit by a truck and left on the side of the road to die as I tried to move my weak limbs. A rolling cramp seized my body pulling a cry from my dry parched lips. I could feel the contents of my stomach threaten to heave right where I lay. I had fallen asleep the night before without any aide. I knew it would come back to bite me in the ass. I hadn’t expected Klaus to kidnap me and drag me to his house without my stash.

  I rolled from the bed, my bones and muscles protesting with each step. I could feel the movement of each thread of sinewy muscle as I struggle to stand. I staggered like a drunk coming home from a binder toward the bathroom, barely able to put one shuffling foot in front of the other. Each step I took was like a sledgehammer to my head and body. I could feel the impact of each step I took, the hard concrete floor slamming against my frayed nerve endings.

  My body began to spasm against the movement fighting against me every step of the way. I was racked with chills that ran through body shaking me to the very core. I up until this moment I hadn’t realized that the muscles in my eyelids were connected to the nerve endings that were connected to my asshole. Every blink threatened to release the contents of my bowels and felt like the slamming of shutters against my head. I stumbled to the toilet in time for my dinner to come up, spewing into the toilet. I lay there heaving, broken, and ready to die.

  That was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to die. I had never felt so horrid in all my life. With each heave my body racked with spasms, my muscles bunched and protested, contracting and locking into unnatural positions that sent sharp waves of pain throughout my body. The slick cool sweat covered my forehead plastering my hair to my face. I was too weak to push it away. Fuck it. I didn’t care. This was the end and my only thought was fuck it.

  A second rolling spasm came from my stomach threate
ning to rip my insides in two. The pain sent my brain spiraling out of control. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t move. I was dying. I knew I was dying. This was the consequences of my actions. This was what happened to good girls who turn bad. They die the most violent and humiliating death. This was exactly what I deserved. I didn’t deserve to slip away peacefully. I deserved every bit of pain and discomfort I was receiving. Murders didn’t deserve to be let off the hook so easily.

  A cool rag was placed behind my neck offering a small relief before another round of spasms and stomach cramping took me.

  The cool rag must have been the reprieve I needed because the vomiting had started to subside. Though, my stomach continued to churn threatening a whole other disaster. I struggled to stand needing to relieve myself in the toilet before I shit myself. A strong pair of arms came from under mine, assisting me. Barely able to stand I couldn’t get my shorts and panties down. I leaned into the hard warm body unable to remain standing on my own. With a firm tug from my assistant, my pants were down and around my ankles. He gently set me on the toilet and brought a waste can to set in front of me.

  Before I could utter a weak thanks my stomach surged again forcing my body to expel all of its contents. I was glad I was going to die because I knew I would never be able to face him again. How is it possible for a human to feel so many pains at once? My body ached, heaved, cramped and spasm out of control. The cool rag was replaced with a fresh one and a thick warm towel was draped over my shoulders, providing me a small bit of comfort against the chills that consumed my body.

  Goosebumps peppered my slick wet skin. My body was expelling every ounce of the poison I had been consuming for the past two months. It was coming out through my pores, my bowels, and my stomach. The stench of the room was enough to send a second wave of nausea through me. How could he stand to be here with me, taking care of me? How could he stand to touch me, care for me, breath the same air as me? Did he not know how I was? What had I done? If he knew the truth he would run, and rightfully so.