Anonymous Desires Read online

  “Yo, Ryk.” I fell forward groaning, my head slapping the desk sending a rattling through my brain, my hands fisted into my lap, my knuckles white with restraint.

  “RYK,” My name was called out even louder. All images of Isai erased from my mind, in their place were images of strangling my brother. I wanted to ream his neck for invading my solitude, inserting himself into my personal brand of misery.

  Eyes squelched shut I begged for the earth to swallow me whole. I would do anything to escape his clutches. Not that I didn’t love my brother, but because I wasn’t in the mood for his cheery disposition. From the sounds of it, he was just as jovial as ever.

  Damon and I were like two sides to the same coin. We were identical twins, but the similarities ended on the exterior. We were polar opposites in every other way. While Damon was all sunshine and rainbows I was a realist. The fairy dust he shot out his ass had no place in my self-loathing myriad of melancholy.

  “Hey, there you are. What gives?” cocking my head to the side I peeked up at him with one eye. Damon stood in the doorway; his dark blue eyes alight with mischief. With a wolves smile, he flashed his pearly whites.

  “What?” I barked out unwilling to play into his hand.

  “Yeah… so…” He raked his hand through his unruly hair, the other perched on his hip.

  “Spit it out.” I groused finally sitting upright in the chair.

  “Okay, so you’re a dick.” His brows furrowed together like two lazy caterpillars, forehead creased in question. “You haven’t been in the office.”

  I stared at him flatly unwilling to play his game. “I’ve been sick,” I say flatly unwilling to divulge any more information than necessary.

  “Okay. Well, that’s a lie but I’ll let it slide.” The smile on his face never wavers making me want to punch him square in the mouth.

  “Fine,” The word came out on an exhale. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to deduct the vibrating in my pocket had come from him.

  For a moment Damon appears lost, the smile on his face threatening to wilt at the sides as he takes in the scene before him. I can only imagine what he’s thinking, my hair hasn’t been combed since the day I came home from the office, my jaw heavily lines with fresh growth. My clothing wrinkled, an empty tumbler cast on its side before me.

  My lip ticked up on the side at watching him struggle to make sense of the scene before him. I was a mess but watching him flounder was entertainment enough to drag me from my woes.

  “Umm.” He struggles for words which was humorous considering. The man who never shuts up has finally met his match.

  “You’re here because?” I asked eager to get to the point of his intrusion, impatient to be free of his judgmental stare.

  “Oh, yeah,” He said as though only remembering. “You, me, and the guys on the boat. Today.” He punctuated each word with the bob of his head; his excitement returning, nearly bursting from the seams at what he thought was a grand idea.

  “Why?”

  “Why what? Why do you have to go have some fun or what?”

  “Why are you a fucking ray of sunshine so damn early in the morning?”

  “Probably the same reason you’re such a dick all the time.” His saccharine smile only made the urge to punch him greater.

  “I’m busy.” Flipping open my laptop I pretended to be interested in the dozens of new emails that littered the screen.

  “No, you’re not. You’ve missed the last two days of work and now it’s the weekend.” In two strides he was at the desk flipping the laptop closed. “Let’s go.”

  “I should have eaten you in the womb,” I growled out, put off by his intrusion into my pity party of one.

  “Yeah, but then you wouldn’t have anyone to put up with your bullshit. And believe me, you provide more than a daily shoveling.”

  “Fuck off.” I waved him away, rising from my seat. Deterring Damon was like trying to throw a bubble – pointless and a waste of energy.

  CHAPTER THREE

  I’ll never admit it to his face, but Damon was right. I needed to get out of the house and the boat was the perfect place to be. The sun hung high in the sky, the water gently lapping at the sides creating a hypnotic rhythm. The guys were gathered in the seating area, the anchor thrown out in the middle of the lake. The beers were ice cold and went down smoothly. We were surrounded by the empty waters, and cool brisk breeze, an oasis of solitude away from my despairing thoughts.

  “So, Damon said you’ve been at home pouting like a bitch.” My eyes slice straight through Damon who doesn’t look the least bit intimidated.

  “I wasn’t pouting.” I huffed out in annoyance. Tipping back the remainder of my beer I chucked the empty can in Damon’s direction hitting him squarely in the chest.

  “Methinks the lady doth protest too much.” Evan chuckled unabashed.

  “Fuck off.” Glowering in his direction does no good. We’ve all been friends for years, there isn’t much one of us can do to ruffle the others feathers.

  “Well, we heard all about the blonde prostitute you had in your office,” Tyler says with entirely too much glee.

  With a groan I throw back my head, hands raised to the gods above, begging for deliverance.

  “She wasn’t a prostitute.” I groan out smother my face with my hands. “Lord save me from the stupidity.”

  “Fine, the escort.” Damon corrects as though it makes a difference.

  “She wasn’t an escort, okay.” I huff out in annoyance.

  “Okay, then. Please explain who the mystery woman who looks like a hooker is. Inquiring minds are dying to know.” Evan rests his elbows on his knees, the eagerness on his face resembles a lab with a sick in its jaw.

  “She was an associate.” The words come out muffled between my fingers, the mortification killing me.

  “Dude, what kind of associates are you hanging out with these days?”

  “Where did you find her?” The questions rain down on me, pelting me with more shame.

  “Agh! Her name is Jessica; she’s a librarian at the County Library.” The words growl out like gravel between clenched teeth.

  “Fuck. I need to get a damn library card if that’s what’s going on between the stacks.” Tyler chimes in; the amazement in his voice matches the dreamy look in his eyes.

  “Don’t bother. I’ll give you her number.” I offer all too willing to be free of the woman in question.

  “Dude, Dame says you haven’t been to the office for the past two days. What gives? Are you seriously fucked up over a hooker showing up at your office?” Narrowing my eyes into slits I glare in Evan’s direction.

  “Chill. Drink.” Damon thrust a fresh beer into my chest. Popping the top I down the contents in one long gulp. The cool crisp barley and hops go down like water.

  “That’s my man,” Damon cheers thrusting a second beer in my direction.

  Cracking the top open I drink this one much slower. “I’m not avoiding the office because of Jessica. I fucked up.” The guys patiently wait for me to continue.

  “I’m going to need something stronger than beer if I’m going to share my feelings. You guys act like a bunch of girls having a sleepover” I growl out in annoyance. Tipping back the ruminants of the can of beer in my hand I try to drown my sorrows.

  “I have just what you need, my friend. Consider this the prelude to the naked pillow fight we all imagine in our minds.” Tyler pulls a bottle of whiskey out of the ice chest handing it in my direction.

  “I’m not getting naked with any of your dumb asses,” I grumble snatching the bottle from his hands. No cup needed I tip the bottle back and proceed to tell the guys about my dilemma. I don’t give away the details of our copulation but I give them enough information to shut them up. The detail of mine and Isai’s sex life stay tucked away, images I keep tucked within the recesses of my mind to look back upon when I’m alone.

  “So let me get this straight. You’re upset you’re banging a chick from the office
and you took her V card?” Tyler’s asks, brows furrow together in consternation.

  “That about sums it up.”

  “Does she directly work for you?” Evan asks the bottle of whiskey rests loosely in his hands.

  “Nope.” The word comes out with a pop, the whiskey doing its job to loosen me up.

  Damon snatches the bottle from Tyler tipping it to his lips as he studies me out of the corner of his eye. “So let me get this straight. You gave the diddle to a chick and you like her enough to diddle her twice but you won’t keep it up because she works for us?” Damon asks waving the bottle around as he speaks for emphasis.

  “That about sums it up.” I blow out a long breath of air, relieved to have someone to talk to even if that someone is Tweedledee and Tweedledum and dumber.

  “I don’t see a problem with it. As COO, I say go for it.” Damon says handing the bottle off to me.

  “I don’t think I can,” I admit staring down the neck of the bottle, as though it holds all the answers to the universe.

  “Everyone has a Mandy. You can’t hang on to the past. Hell. I think Tyler has had three Mandy’s this year.” Tyler raises his hand in confirmation.

  “Dude, I’m not even kidding. Bitch took everything I had all three times.” Tyler’s cheeks color as he admits his relationship woes.

  “Three different girls or the same girl three different times?” I ask curiously for the answer and yet appalled that I’m just now finding this information out.

  “Give me that bottle.” Tyler’s hand reach out for the bottle. Bring it to his lips he lets out a long sigh before tipping it back for a long swallow.

  “Greedy bastard.” Evan rips the bottle from his hands; the effect had whiskey washing across the deck of the boat.

  Tyler shoots daggers in his direction but doesn’t say anything. “Same woman three different times.” Tyler finally answers.

  “Was it worth it?” I ask knowing Tyler’s business is his life. Tyler built his app company up from the ground starting back when we were in college.

  “Meh, the sex was phenomenal. I just learned to hide my assets better with each round.” Chuckling I shake my head in disbelief at his nonchalance.

  “Seriously though Bro, give the chick a chance. You never know what a woman’s after. It could be money, a promotion, a good time, or hell, even love. I’m just saying that if she makes you happy then you should go for it. You’re a miserable bastard on a good day, why make us suffer through worse because you refuse to get laid?” I see his somewhat stilted point or perhaps it’s the alcohol doing the thinking for me.

  “I don’t even know if she’ll have me back. She saw Jessica.” My admission is met by a round of raucous laughter.

  “Tell her the Jessica had us confused. Hell, I’ll take the rap for you.” The sincerity shines through Damon’s eyes even as he wipes away the tears from his laughter.

  “Thanks, but I think I better come clean. You know, just in case.”

  “I hear ya, bro. Just saying. The offer’s always out there.”

  The bottle continues to go around as we cut up. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed hanging out with these guys. It’s been a long time since we all just sat around doing nothing, shooting the shit.

  The sun slowly begins to dip in the sky, the bottle of whiskey long gone. With a cold beer in my hand, I lean back against the railing letting the cool crisp breeze wash over my fevered skin.

  “You should call her,” Damon says sitting down beside me. In his outstretched hand in my phone, the one he confiscated when he forced me to leave the house with him this morning.

  “You’re right. I should totally call her.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  That smell.

  Inhaling deeply I allow the scent of Rosemary and mint to permeate my senses. I can feel my lips curving up at the thought of Isai. A warm body curls around mine, a leg hiked over my hips. Wrapping my arms around the body I luxuriate in the feel flesh against flesh. Soft breath feathers against my chest. My cock stirs ready for action.

  This dream is the most realistic yet. Taking the liberty of enacting my fantasy I allow my hands to wander the smooth expanse of flesh, my dream addled mind conjures up the most realistic mewls that have my rock hard in seconds. Fingers threaded through dark unruly hair pulls a desperate groan from my lips. The sound of her gasp swells my chest. My grip tightens, tugging her head back to expose the succulent flesh of her neck, leaving her exposed and at my mercy.

  Trailing fingers up the smooth curve of a hip I allow my hand to wander, feeding my mind with the most sinfully delicious images of Isai wrapped around me, her full curves on display. Mapping her body in my mind, I explore like a blind man engrossed in a novel, every touch feeding me new information, feeding my desire to know more, feel more.

  “Ryker,” My name comes out with a sigh. The sound all too real. My heart pulses in my chest, the edge of panic taking over. My hands still.

  Cracking my eyes open the light blinds me. A sudden pounding begins between my temples. A mass of wild hair finds its way into my face suffocating me. With a groan, I try to roll away afraid of what I might find. Each movement of my body sends a pounding wave through my head.

  “Lay still and let me get the light.” My body goes taut at the sound of her voice. My lips seal shut for fear of what might tumble out.

  With eyes screwed shut I try to recant the night before, my memory coming in small clips, like an old movie reel out of focus. I remember spending the day on the water with the guys and having a few drinks. The burn of whiskey in the back of my throat reminds me of the conversation about Isai but it doesn’t explain how I ended up in her bed.

  “Stay still. I’ll start some coffee then get the shower going.” Even though her voice is soft there’s an undercurrent of steel within it. I comply, afraid to open my eyes. My mind spins, the world on a tilt a whirl. I don’t know if it’s the whiskey or the sound of her voice, the fact that she's really here. All I know is I’m afraid to move, afraid of opening my eyes and finding myself in my bed alone. Afraid that all of this is just some fucked up, alcohol induced dream.

  With a small nod, I pull the blanket over my head, blocking the light from permeating my lids any further. The small motion sets my stomach rolling. With palms pressed to the mattress, I will my stomach to steady.

  I can hear the soft footsteps of Isai as she makes her way across the room. The bright morning sun fades away as she draws the curtains closed. Encased in darkness, my ears follow her movement as she pads her way to the other side of the room. With a soft click, I hear a door open followed by the rustling clothing. Knowing she is covering her milky flesh sends a painful groan from my lips.

  “Shh, it’s okay.” She whispers across the darkened room mistaking my groan for one of physical agony.

  My ears are met with the sound of the shower curtain sliding across the metal rod. The gently swish of fabric has my mind summoning images of Isai nude form in the shower, the water cascading across her body, droplets running down her perfectly formed tips. My cock strains against the material of my boxers begging to be set free.

  The faucet squeaks before spewing forth a fountain. The sound is both comforting and annoying. My body yearns for the streams of hot water, Isai’s slippery wet body pressed against mine. Reaching down I give my cock a gentle squeeze. The head weeps with need, begging to be buried within her slick folds. The squeaking noise ceases, leaving my head pounding at the sound of the water cascading against the shower wall. The hollow sound leaves a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing I’ll be showering alone.

  With careful steps, I listen as Isai exits the room. Her footsteps fade away all too soon. Already I feel her absence. With lips pressed closed I bite back the urge to call her back to bed, unwilling to give up the memory of her body pressed to mine, not knowing when or if it will happen again.

  I lay there contemplating my next move. Unable to spend another moment under the covers breathing
my own drunken fumes I rise from the bed like a zombie. My limbs are stiff and ache with every movement.

  Glancing down my body I stifle a smirk. My clothing stripped away, leaving me in only my boxers. My discarded clothing lays folded neatly on the nightstand beside me along with a glass of water and two aspirin. A rush of warmth fills my chest at the sight. The fact that my clothing is folded neatly tells me everything I need to know, I didn’t undress myself. The thought should appall me but it doesn’t. Knowing Isai took the time to undress me and gently fold my clothing sends a rush of warmth to my chest.

  Picking up the two pills I toss them back, washing them down with the glass of water. Wincing slightly with the movement I fight back the urge to collapse back onto the bed.

  A small nightlight lights the way into the bathroom. Flicking the switch on the wall I immediately regret my decision and turn it back off. My head is splitting in two. Shuffling my feet I walk to the shower, dropping my boxers to the floor.

  The moment the hot water hits my back I let out a moan of pleasure. The knots that formed in my back begin to release their hold under the pulsing spray. With elbows braced on the shower wall, I allow the water to beat down on me.

  I stand under the spray until the water starts to cool. Grabbing the luffa I begin to lather my body. Isai’s scent fills the room. My cock growing hard with every pass of the soaped up sponge. Ignoring the twinge of guilt that raps at my subconscious I tug on my cock in long slow pulls, each stroke drawing my balls tighter.

  Her name spills from my lips as I coat her shower walls with my seed. With a soft grunt, my head falls to the shower wall. Cold water hits the back of my legs sending a chill up my spine but I don’t care. I need a minute to gather my thoughts. I don’t know what happened last night to cause me to wake up in her bed with her luscious frame wrapped around me but I couldn’t imagine a better way to wake.