Still Rocking

  Still Rocking

  A. D. Herrick

  This book is a work of fiction. Any similarities to any person, place or theory is in no way intended or to be inferred as fact or reference.

  The work is the singular property of the Author, and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without permission, unless as part of a Review, Interview or Public push of the work and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  Contains adult situations. 17+ only

  Cover Design by A. D. Herrick

  Copyright ©2017 Herrick

  ISBN-13:

  All rights reserved

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Acknowledgements

  About The Author

  Where words fail, music speaks.

  -Hans Christian Andersen

  Chapter One

  The past month had been the most agonizing time I had ever experienced in my life. I went from being high on life to having my world wiped out from beneath my feet. I was just putting the plans in motion to announce my engagement to the most amazing woman I had ever met, a woman whom I had been in a relationship with for the last six month. To have it all taken from me by my brother, my best friend, through no fault of his own, other than the fact that he was in idiot.

  I didn’t expect to fall in love with Nina Mikhailov. I didn’t expect the quiet timid girl that used to follow us around like a lost puppy, while we were visiting family in Russia, to have changed from an ugly duckling into such a magnificent swan, to steal my heart fully and completely. I had no way of anticipating her coming into my life and snatching my heart straight out of my chest. I had no way of foretelling any of this, but somehow, it happened.

  I was a mega star rocker traveling the world, a different girl in every town, with no intentions of sticking around for more than a good time. I was a walking hard on eager to dip my wick in just about any girl that was willing. I was the player of all players - until one day I wasn’t.

  On the last leg of our tour we played in Russia. It was the perfect place to end our yearlong tour by visiting family and having a little down time. It also gave Tosha and Katinka a chance to celebrate their marriage with our extended family.

  Everything was going great until a blonde vixen with large blue doe eyes sucked me in. Nina was Tosha’s third cousin on his father’s side and had attended the mammoth celebration that Tosha’s family had thrown together to celebrate Tosha and Katinka’s marriage and pregnancy.

  It was on that very night that the rest of my life changed. I became immediately enraptured by the bright crystal blue eyes that now haunt my dreams. I would love to say there was this ostentatious moment that led us to one another. However, the truth is much more underplayed than that.

  I noticed Nina standing on the edge of the crowd, a drink in her hand, as she watched on. A warm smile on her face, as Katinka was surrounded by the gaggle of women who were patiently waiting to touch her stomach and hear the tale of how Tosha proposed.

  Her long flowing blonde hair and clear blue eyes caught me. At first glance I had no idea who she was. I hastily made my way over to her eager to capture her attention. As I introduced myself Nina smiled brilliantly, flashing me rows of perfect white teeth. It was then that I knew she was going to be the one.

  There was no rapturous moment, no sudden zing of electricity. There were no angels harmonizing, singing of the glory between the two of us as our eyes met. It also wasn’t the bright smile that split her face in two that stole my heart. It was the fact that she so eloquently put me in my place, reminding me that we had known one another our whole lives. Calling me out on my past transgressions, reminding me of the lanky boy I used to be.

  She was the first woman other than Katinka that had ever stood up to me as she held her ground, challenging me in every turn, opening my mind to new avenues of thought with such an honest and sincere openness and passion. I liked it, rather I loved it. Nina was so fearless in her pursuit to remind me that I put my pants on the same way everyone else did, one leg at a time.

  We spent hours talking as the party dwindled down around us. The two of us had been so enraptured in our conversation that we hadn’t notice the party around us had ended. The lights had been turned down, the guest long gone, the banquet hall a deserted oasis.

  What started out as one night of witty banter soon turned into late night phone calls and stolen text messages once I was back home in the States. We spent hours reconnecting and catching up with one another.

  I wasn’t home a month before I knew I needed to see Nina again. While away from her I felt that there was this missing piece of me that only she could feel. Every phone call from her took me to such extraordinary heights causing moments without her to feel so shallow and cold. I was much becoming an addict. I was addicted to her laughter, the soft hum of her voice, her witty comebacks, and the way just hearing her voice made the sun shine brighter.

  I soon began taken stolen trips back to Russia to see her. I would slip away to surprise her with a night out on the town, dinner at a fancy restaurant, or take her to a play that was in town. I made up any excuse I could to fly in and take her out. It started as a day or two once a month then soon became a week at a time sometimes twice a month. During that time our relationship blossomed. The more time we spent together the harder it was to be apart. Every time I left her side I felt like I left a part of my heart along with her until the last trip I took. On that trip I knew I left my entire heart.

  On my last trip to Russia I dropped down onto one knee and proposed. I was so anxious and afraid. I knew that we were moving fast but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

  To my utter surprise, she said yes. I couldn’t have been any happier. I wanted to shout my elation from the rooftops. I wanted the entire world to know that I had found my happiness. I found the one woman that was made for me and she had said yes to spend the rest of her life with me. Nina quickly reminded me that first we would need to tell our families before I started calling up every magazine and entertainment rag to spread the word. I was normally not a fan of publicity but I wanted to share my happiness with the world. I knew she was right, so reluctantly I waited.

  We had kept our relationship a secret, though not intentionally. We both know that we had meddling families and once our families so much as thought that we were seeing one another they would start to pressure us to get married.

  At the time, it seemed like a reasonable thing, to see one another secretly as we were unsure about the direction our relationship would be heading. We lived in two different countries, on two different continents, leading two very different lives. It’s true what they say, hindsight is 20/20.

  Nina’s family had just begun to celebrate her brother’s engagement so she wanted to wait to tell everyone. She was afraid of stealing the limelight away from the happy couple after they had just announced their engagement just days before I proposed. It reminded me why I loved her so much; she was always so thoughtful and considerate.

  The day before we planned to announce our engagement is the day the earth began to shatter around me. Kiev’s parents had decided to intervene in his love life and arrange to have him married off. With one phone call my fiancée, Nina, was graciously given away by her family to
wed my best friend, my brother. She was stolen from me. All I could do was quietly sit on the sidelines, nursing my broken heart in silence.

  I tried to convince Nina to come clean, to tell her family that she was already engaged but she was afraid to tell them that we had been seeing one another in secret. She reassured me over and over that everything would work out in the end. She felt confident that she would be able to convince Kiev to not go through with the marriage. I loved her for her positive outlook on the situation, though I couldn’t help the growing ball of dread that took up residence in the pit of my stomach.

  I watched helplessly as Kiev begged to be released from his arranged marriage. Much to his chagrin he was denied time after time. Every day I watched as the calendar ticked down to the day of Kiev’s wedding. It was like watching the timer on a bomb that was connected to my heart. Every day Nina would remind me that it would all work out and that everything would be okay. When Kiev shared the fact that Nina was engaged to someone else I felt sure she had told him it was me. I had waited for the apology, the congratulations – they never came. Again Nina had forgone exposing our secret. She still held me in the shadows.

  It soon felt as though Kiev was no longer fighting to get out of his arranged marriage. He seemed to accept the inevitable, allowing himself to be married off to someone else’s fiancé. The thought gutted me. I was immediately crestfallen. More times than I am ashamed of admitting, Nina had to talk me off the ledge, promising me that everything would work out in the end. I trusted her more than anyone in the world. With blind faith I followed. I held onto my silence as my world began to crash down around my feet. I fought against my better instincts to let the secret slip through my lips. It’s amazing what one will do for love, what one will do to make another human being happy.

  Chapter Two

  “Who’s the most amazing fiancé in the whole wide world?” Nina sang into the receiver as I answered her call.

  “Always you babe, Always.” I replied cheerily a wide smile spread across my face as I lounged on my bed, my ankles crossed over one another. The smile on my face spread ear to ear as it always did when Nina called.

  “So how are the two love birds doing? Are they settled in?” She asked referring to Kiev and Emily who had just come clean about being married several weeks prior.

  I was excited to let her know about the news I had just received. “Yeah, they just got back from the doctor, looks like they are indeed preggers.”

  “Oh that’s great news.” She agreed happily. “I’m glad everything is working out for Kiev and especially that our family has dropped the wedding plans.”

  I sighed loudly in relief. “Babe, you have no idea how happy I am about that whole mess. When Kiev came back from Vegas with a wife I felt for sure that I had died and gone to heaven.”

  “Seriously, babe, do you really have to be so dramatic? I thought I was the chick here.” Nina gently scolded giggling into the phone.

  “Hey, my brother almost married my fiancé.” I reminded her sternly sitting up in bed. The relaxed atmosphere was rapidly fading. This has been a source of contingency between the two of us as of late.

  “Yeah, but he has had a wife for a few weeks now.” She reminded me, her voice raising an octave and losing its playful cheer.

  “Yeah, I know. But no one was really sure how legit the marriage was. I mean he just took off for like ever and then came back with some brunette on his arm calling her his wife.” I tried to reason with her. I was still in shock by the entire turn of events even though it had been weeks since it all happened. Kiev had just disappeared one night and came back days later proclaiming to be married.

  “He was gone for four days, not a week. He also sent me a text while he was in Vegas and let me know he was married and that I was off the hook. I told you immediately after I found out. It’s not like it was a big surprise when you saw him. Are you on your period?” Nina’s voice rose even higher becoming more shrill and appalled.

  “Ugh woman. What am I going to do with you?” I growled into the phone like a caveman. This woman was going to be the death of me. I needed her like the earth needs the sun. I couldn’t believe how blasé she was being about everything that had happened.

  “Well for starters you’re going to marry me before my parents get some bright idea to wed me off again.” She teased her attitude doing a complete one eighty. It was like talking to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

  “So does that mean we can tell our families about our engagement?” I asked with a hopeful lisp feeling more and more like the female in this relationship as I cow tailed to her mood swings. I took every opportunity available to take advantage of her jovial mood, not knowing how long it would last. I was ready to be free of the secret that held us apart. I knew that once we were able to be together the tension and strain that had come between us would fade. Secrets have a way of destroying everything good which is why they were a bad idea.

  “I think we should give it some time. I mean, how is it going to look for me having been engaged to one man and then turning right around and getting engaged to a second man?” Nina said sounding slightly affronted.

  “Please tell me you did not just say that.” I sighed heavily. My patience was wearing thin on this topic. I didn’t understand why we couldn’t just tell everyone and get it all out of the way.

  “Ivan, I just don’t understand what the rush is all about. We have plenty of time. We’ve only been together for seven months and engaged for about a month.” With each word she hammered a nail into my heart.

  “Yeah, you’re right. We’ll just hang around and leave things be until you get married off to someone else.” I replied sarcastically. I was over this conversation. There just wasn’t anything else I could contribute to rationalize my feelings toward the topic. Nina’s mind was clearly made up and nothing was going to make her budge.

  “I don’t understand why you’re being this way.” Nina’s said perturbed. “It’s not like the world is going to end if we keep our secret a little longer. What are a few more months?”

  My mouth fell open in shock. “Did you say a few more months?” There was no way I had heard her right.

  “Yeah, what’s so wrong with that?” She asked sounding offended by my reaction.

  I scrubbed my hand across my face in attempt to wipe away the foul mood that was quickly brewing.

  I inhaled deeply before answering. “I just think that if we were more open and upfront about things then we wouldn’t find ourselves in awkward positions like the last one.” Fighting to remain calm, I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice as I spoke.

  “Oh, you’re just blowing things out of proportion. There was a little snafu. It’s not like the world was going to end and all hope was lost. I really wish you would just relax and let this topic go. There is no need to rush things. We have the rest of our lives to decide when to tell everyone.”

  Did she just call the whole incident with Kiev a snafu? The rest of our lives to wait to tell everyone? I felt like my head was about to explode. I honestly had no idea who this woman was that I was on the phone with. Had I been drinking the Kool-Aid for too long? I felt like my top was about to explode.

  “I have some things to do so I’ll let you go. Have a good one.” I quickly said into the phone. I ended the phone call before she had time to reply. Pressing the button on the side of the phone I turned the ringer off and slipped my phone into my pocket. Hanging my head in shame I sat there on the edge of my bed. I felt like my head and my heart were in shambles of conflicting emotions.

  It had been like this between me and Nina for weeks now. She would teasingly suggest that we get married, the moment I agree she withdraws from the topic, always pushing the idea away for later, insisting that I am far too eager to enter the arrangement than necessary.

  She still didn’t want to come forward and tell everyone we are engaged or even that we are seeing one another. I couldn’t understand the harm that would come from letting everyone
know about the two of us. I was a firm believer in secrets, not making friends. Hell, it was a rule in our home and I was breaking it. I had been breaking it for some time now and it was eating at me. I felt like utter fodder for keeping secrets from my friends and family.

  I felt like Nina was keeping me away. Holding me off at a distance, just at arm’s length, then dragging me back in when she needed the comfortable reminder that I was still there and willing. I was beginning to feel like a yoyo and it was the worst feeling to have when it involved a woman you had given your heart to.

  The simmering thoughts in the back of my mind continued to berate me, scolding me for falling so soon. Though, I couldn’t rationalize half a year as being too soon. I felt it was a perfectly acceptable term to have been in a relationship with someone before deciding to make the arrangement more permanent, especially since my feelings for her had grown exponentially.

  Though my heart was utterly and completely Nina’s, my mind had begun to have doubts. It was tearing me apart internally. My heart was steadily pounding for a woman that continued to pull me close only to push me away moments later, then without a moment’s thought she was reeling me back in again. All the while my mind had begun to plant seeds of doubt. More and more I felt as though I was spending more time convincing myself that I was in love with Nina and that everything would work out than I was basking in the pending matrimony of our union. It was a vicious cycle, convincing myself that all would work out, and that Nina would decide to be open about our relationship.

  In the beginning, all the secret rendezvous were thrilling. For the first time in my life I was doing something completely out of character. I felt as though I were truly embracing my freedom and independence from the band.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t love my brothers or enjoy our relationship. We had been best friends since the dawn of time it seemed and we had never had time to settle down or attempt any semblance of normality. We had been on the go, constantly chasing our dreams since we were fifteen. Our motto had always been play hard live hard. That’s what we did.